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U.S. Congressman Says “NO MORE” to Sexual Assault and Shaming

The viciousness of their accusations — blaming my niece, mocking and shaming her defenders — demonstrates how very misguided our society is when it comes to sexual assault.

These are the words spoken by New York Congressman, Tom Reed, about the experience his niece had after disclosing her rape. Prom night, a time usually filled with young glamour and excitement, brought a very scary reality into the life of his young niece. Congressman Reed shares his niece’s story and urges others to join his effort in speaking out against sexual assault.

Click here to read his blog featured on The Huffington Post and watch his recent speech on the House floor to commemorate Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

This story is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post and NOMORE.org in conjunction with Sexual Assault Awareness Month. 

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Like many military members who survive a sexual assault, the process of reporting the rape and seeking some justice was a long, despairing and ultimately fruitless effort.

Marcel Edwards is a social worker and former U.S. Air Force Staff Sergeant. She is also a survivor of military sexual assault and trauma. Recently, as part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Marcel gave a first hand account of her assault and her determination to speak out against sexual assault, especially in the military. Marcel’s story not only accounts her attack but the traumatic reporting and investigation experience afterward. She now stands up to say “NO MORE” belittling, blaming, or ignoring victims.

Read Marcel’s story here.

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This story is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post and NOMORE.org in conjunction with Sexual Assault Awareness Month. 

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It took a lot of guts for Deborah Monroe to return to East Carolina University. As a student at ECU, her boyfriend had beaten her, thrown her out of a car, and threatened her with a loaded gun.

Seven years later, Monroe is now an author, advocate and speaker on intimate partner abuse. She was invited back to campus last fall by Alpha Phi Alpha, a ECU fraternity that co-sponsors “Black & Blue,” an annual event that raises awareness about domestic violence.

For Monroe, returning to campus was particularly fraught — her abuser had been a member of Alpha Phi Alpha.

Alpha Phi Alpha Takes a Stand

But Alpha Phi Alpha has a long tradition of activism on behalf of minority groups, the disenfranchised and the voiceless. The first intercollegiate Greek-letter fraternity for African-Americans, its members include Martin Luther King, Jr. Paul Robeson, Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. and Thurgood Marshall.

“The founders inspire us,” says ECU chapter president Kristopher Montford-Brown. “They began by being shunned on campus and chose to become leaders.”

Alpha Phi Alpha sponsored “Black & Blue” in conjunction with the Zeta Phi Beta sorority to shed light on the problem of domestic abuse, particularly in the African-American community, where a recent study found that African-American women were murdered in domestic offenses a rate more than two and a half times higher that Caucasian women.

Sometimes Stories of Abuse are Swept Under the Rug

For Montford-Brown, hearing the stories of other people who grew up abused or with abusers was a revelation. “We don’t always know people’s true stories,” he said. “When I was growing up, my dad would put his hands on my mom. I used sports as a reason not to be in the house. I went to after-school tutoring. Who wants to go to after-school tutoring? I just didn’t want to be home. But I learned that you don’t have to accept abuse or let it control your life.”

When she came to campus for “Black & Blue,” Monroe shared her own story. She also talked about a funeral she attended while a student there – for the mother of an Alpha Phi member, who had been murdered by her husband.

ECU is the third-largest university in North Carolina and hosts over 25,000 students. Although there are few reported instances of abuse or rape at ECU, Sue Molhan, the ECU Office of Victim Services spokesperson, believes there are a substantial number of unreported cases. “Students don’t report it because it’s usually an acquaintance,” Molhan told the Greenville Reflector, referring to the “silent epidemic.” “People also are not sure sometimes if what happened to them would count as a crime.”

Lt. Amy Davis, the Division Commander of ECU’s Crime Prevention/Community Affairs, calls sexual assault “the most underreported crime in our society.” And, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, females ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of intimate partner violence. One survey on college women found that about 3 percent had been victims of rape or attempted rape in a single academic term. At a campus the size of ECU this translates to over 350 attacks per year — 100 times the reported number.

Alpha Phi Alpha is Creating Solutions to Help

Campus police, university administration and service-minded Greek organizations now offer a slate of programs on date rape, familial and intimate partner violence throughout the year. Alpha Phi Alpha members participate in most of the events, including organizing serious programs like “The Morning After,” a help program for date rape victims, and participating in playful protests against gender violence, like the annual “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes,” where male ECU students literally walk one mile in women’s high heels.

Both Montford-Brown and Monroe believe that the spirit of cooperation among the local and national organizations is a necessity when facing an issue of this magnitude.

“We can’t do it by ourselves,” says Monroe, “We have to commit to each other.”

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 Verizon Foundation, Society for Women’s Health Research Form Network to Explore Technology-Based Solutions to Reduce the Increased Chronic Health Risk of Domestic Violence on Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A significant link exists between many chronic health conditions and domestic violence, and the healthcare industry, support agencies and others must do more to make and act on that connection.

The survey, “Verizon Foundation and MORE Magazine Survey: Exploring the Relationship between Domestic Violence and Chronic Health Conditions,” found that 70 percent of adult American women over the age of 21 have a chronic health condition. That number rises to 81 percent among women who have experienced any form of domestic violence. This is especially serious given that 44 percent of women in the survey said they experienced a form of domestic violence.

 

 Majority of Women Have Chronic Health Problems, With Significant Link to Domestic Violence

verizonDespite the high correlation between chronic health conditions and experiencing domestic violence, only 6 percent of women surveyed believe their doctor or nurse has ever made a connection between the two. Three-fourths of women say they have never been asked about domestic violence during a medical exam. Among women aged 65 and older, 85 percent have never been screened, though they are no less likely than their younger counterparts (aged 21 – 34) to experience domestic violence.

A number of barriers prevent the majority of healthcare professionals from doing these screenings, according to a new white paper, “Domestic Violence and the Role of the Healthcare Provider: The Value of Educating on Assessment and Intervention Strategies,” that was presented at the Capitol Hill briefing. These obstacles include the widespread perception that domestic violence is a private issue; fear of offending a patient; fear of the patient’s abuser; a lack of understanding of abuse; time constraints; and lack of referral sources and procedures for screening.

The white paper was developed by Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, N.J., with support from the Rutgers University School of Social Work and the Verizon Foundation.

Elaine Hewins, domestic violence education and awareness program coordinator at the hospital and an author of the white paper, said, “Because healthcare providers are often the first responders to domestic violence, it is essential that they redefine the goals of routine screening and learn the skill sets to continually and consistently ask questions, making patients feel comfortable and safe enough to utilize healthcare professionals as resources and allies.”

Next Steps: Research, Innovative Solutions

To help address the issues raised by the survey, Verizon and the Society for Women’s Health Research have formed an international interdisciplinary team, Women’s Exposure to Violence and Chronic Disease Network.

“In our efforts to improve the care of women with chronic health conditions, it’s important to identify new technology solutions to help healthcare providers and patients overcome obstacles to reducing the long-term health impacts, which includes those from domestic violence,” said Rose Stuckey Kirk, Verizon vice president of global corporate social responsibility and president of the Verizon Foundation. “We believe we haven’t fully utilized technology that can greatly help doctors and patients manage care.” 

 

The Women’s Exposure to Violence and Chronic Disease Network, funded by the Verizon Foundation, includes healthcare providers, domestic violence awareness advocates, and academic, government and healthcare technology leaders (see full list, here).

The network will conduct an in-depth examination of the chronic health consequences of domestic violence and how technology can be used to address this issue. Network members will review existing technology solutions and programmatic efforts, explore how to improve them, and identify best practices.

The leaders will then design and evaluate technology-based pilot programs, using Verizon’s innovative communications solutions, to develop interventions that address the link between chronic health conditions and exposure to domestic violence; educate patients on the risk factors between domestic violence and chronic health conditions; and empower women who have experienced violence to manage their chronic disease risk.

“For nearly 25 years, the Society for Women’s Health Research has been the national thought leader in women’s health and has advocated for greater investigation into the impact of domestic violence on chronic health conditions,” said Phyllis Greenberger, the organization’s president and CEO. “Through this new network, the Society for Women’s Health Research and Verizon are providing the first dedicated, in-depth examination of the chronic health consequences of domestic violence.  We need to examine the current programmatic, scientific and societal gaps related to domestic violence and chronic health conditions. This innovative network’s goal is to develop solutions that will reduce the long-range health implications of domestic violence.”

More information on the connection between domestic violence and chronic health conditions, resources for healthcare providers and survivors, and ways to advocate for increased domestic violence screenings among health care professionals can be found at http://vz.to/chronichealthanddv.

to learn more ABOUT THE VERIZON/MORE SURVEY METHODOLOGY:

To better understand the connection between domestic violence and chronic health conditions, MORE partnered with the Verizon Foundation on The Verizon Foundation and More Magazine Survey: Exploring the Relationship between Domestic Violence and Chronic Health Conditions.  Research organization GFK conducted the survey from Aug. 7 to Aug. 12, 2013. The survey polled a nationally representative sample of 1,005 women over age 21, and the survey’s margin of error for this study is +/-3.8%.

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A NO MORE supporter sent this email to her coworkers to encourage more conversation about domestic violence and sexual assault:

“He was such a nice guy,” I groaned as the words came out of my mouth. Just last night in discussing a family member’s divorce with my mom, I couldn’t believe I said it. Yes, he was a nice guy the few times we saw him at extended family gatherings over the years, but we have since learned that it was not a healthy relationship – controlling to nth degree. And, now she was leaving him, bravely.

So why am I sharing this story about my family? Because even after working on domestic violence for nearly 10 years, I found myself saying the exact cliché that plagues this issue.

The billboard features an excuse often used when an instance of domestic or sexual abuse is made known: NO MORE…”She Was Asking For It”

NO MORE was launched nationwide this past March with the goal of normalizing the conversation around domestic violence and sexual assault, ultimately reducing the stigma many victims feel. A year later NO MORE is taking off. The symbol has been spotted on t-shirts, outdoor signs and car bumpers around the country, and there is a NO MORE billboard on LA’s famed Hollywood and Vine (pictured above). It is part of a larger PSA campaign called, “Excuses” and I urge you to take 30 seconds to watch this video below — and then share it with your friends.

I had shown my mom the PSA a week earlier. So when I said the words and groaned, she understood why that phrase shouldn’t be part of the conversation.

And that is what NO MORE is about. It is about changing behaviors and talking openly about domestic violence and sexual assault for everyone – not just those in bad relationships.

 

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Recently, an Indiana mom and blogger was inspired by the NO MORE PSA campaign and decided to share her story for the first time.  After many years of silence, Carrie Herndon (countycarrie.com), told of a marriage turned abusive in her blog “The Pursuit of Passion.” Writing “No more pretending it never happened,” Carrie had kept her story to herself because of the shame and stigma she felt. Here is Carrie’s courageous blog post:

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I hadn’t ever given much thought as to how I would die until he slammed my head against the wall. At that moment I thought that this would be the end and what had I accomplished and at 20 I had accomplished nothing.

 

I’ve spent the last 16 years pretending that I had never gotten married to him. I met him at a gas station of all places. My friend Stacy’s boyfriend was working there. Her man had quite a long record but that didn’t stop him from carrying a gun and selling drugs. From that very first meeting I should have known that he was trouble because of the friends he kept… READ MORE

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CBS News reports:

An estimated 22 percent of Americans say they have been a victim of domestic violence, and 13 percent report being the victim of sexual assault, a women’s awareness group reported Monday.

The “No More” survey, funded by the Avon Foundation for Women, found that despite the apparent scope of the issues, more than half of American’s say they have never discussed sexual assault or domestic violence with their friends.

It’s a combination of data, the group states in its release, that “uncovers staggering silence and inaction around domestic violence and sexual assault.”

“That silence leaves victims trapped by the shame, stigma and fear that these crimes carry,” Avon Foundation for Women President Carol Kurzig said in a statement. “If we can encourage more people to start talking, we can end that cycle and bring these issues to light in a new way.”

The study, conducted by GfK Public Affairs and Corporate Communications, surveyed 301 teens between the ages of 15 and 17, and 1,006 adults 18 and over. Based on the polling and population figures, the study estimates that 54 million Americans report that they have been a victim of domestic violence — including 1 in 3 women. The group estimates that 32 million report that they have been a victim of sexual assault — including 1 in 5 women.  Click to read more

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Read the Huffington Post’s blog, featuring the NO MORE Study, commissioned by our partners at the Avon Foundation for Women:

Sixty percent of Americans know a survivor of domestic violence. One in three women (30 percent), one in seven men (14 percent) report living with intimate violence. The bad news, when it comes to domestic violence, is that the situation, globally, is stunningly in its scope. The good news is that we have defined issues and well-developed solutions. Even if the problem is complex, there are approaches that are clear.  What is ambiguous is whether we care and have the will to change the statistics.

As it is, the idea of returning to the “safety” of one’s home is elusive for huge swaths of the our population. It is safe to say that justice for women, still difficult to achieve in a public context, is only now being considered something that should extend into the private sphere. This harsh and discriminatory reality, historically, has been considered a private matter, rendering it silent and invisible, and largely encouraging the notion that the violence is inevitable.

Globally, the situation is well-documented: pandemic, global violence against girls and women, primarily at the hands of men, usually men they know and often in their own homes. A study conducted in Asia revealed that men themselves understand violence, especially sexual violence, to be a male entitlement. We don’t have recent a study in the U.S. that asks the same questions.

Many people think that this is an “over there” problem. It’s not… Read more

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Read Examiner.com‘s feature on NO MORE:

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Prominently featuring the NO MORE symbol, new public service announcements designed to raise awareness for domestic violence and sexual assault are launching on Sept. 23. Celebrities, athletes, corporate leaders, and advocates have joined forces to generate awareness for domestic violence and sexual assault, and encourage bystanders to help.

Additionally, our good friends at NO MORE are also sharing the results of a new national study, commissioned by the AVON Foundation for Women, that reveals the staggering silence and inaction around domestic violence and sexual assault in the U.S.

The new study shows that the overwhelming majority of Americans know victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, but they do not talk about the issues with their children or friends, or take steps to help survivors… Read More

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