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Honoring Yeardley: Five Years After UVA Lacrosse Player’s Death, One Love Works to End Dating Violence

It has been five years since University of Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love was brutally killed by her ex-boyfriend, George Huguely V, just weeks shy of her graduation. Hugely, at the time also a lacrosse player at the prestigious university, broke down Yeardley’s door just before midnight on March 2, 2010, after a full day of drinking, beat and shook Yeardley, and then left her to die.

Yeardley’s death rocked the UVA community, and the country, largely because it was all so hard to believe. Yeardley had come from a loving family, had been a standout lacrosse player at Notre Dame Preparatory School in suburban Baltimore, and had worked hard to achieve her dream of playing Division 1 lacrosse at UVA, a dream she had promised her late father, John, she would achieve before he passed away in 2003.

But as Yeardley’s mother Sharon and sister Lexie learned throughout Huguely’s trial, despite how hard it was to believe that such an awful thing could happen to such a sweet, kindhearted person, there had been warning signs. There had been so many warning signs. There was the time that Huguely had attacked Yeardley before being pulled off of her by a group of visiting University of North Carolina lacrosse players. There were the threatening texts and an email he sent her saying he should have killed her, which Yeardley had shared with her friends. There was the time Huguely broke into a teammate’s apartment and beat him up because he had walked Yeardley home from a bar.

According to Sharon Love, in the years between Yeardley’s death and the trial in 2012, she did not see Yeardley as a victim of relationship violence, but as the victim of a single violent crime. In 2010, Sharon founded the Yeardley Reynolds Love Foundation to honor Yeardley’s memory by supporting causes she was passionate about, including lacrosse programs for disadvantaged youth.

That changed as Sharon sat through the trial. “We learned more and more, and we realized that we needed to focus our efforts on dating violence.” If only the people around Yeardley had known what they were seeing, Sharon says, then maybe they would have intervened and prevented Yeardley’s death.

In 2012, the Yeardley Reynolds Love Foundation, more commonly known as One Love, a combination of the number that Yeardley wore on her UVA lacrosse jersey and her last name, pivoted its effort to address relationship violence, focusing on 16 to 24-year-olds. Sharon was shocked to learn that young women in this age group are at three times greater risk of being involved in a violent relationship.

In July 2014, One Love named Katie Hood, a family friend of the Loves and the former CEO of the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, as CEO and brought on a full-time staff to jumpstart the dating violence prevention and awareness initiatives that it’s carrying out today.

Since Hood took the reins last July, One Love has pushed out the Escalation film and workshop for use on college campuses. Escalation tells the story of a college relationship from its seemingly sweet beginnings to its tragic end. The film is shown as part of a 90-minute workshop led by a One Love facilitator or a campus facilitator trained by One Love. Unlike some other instructional videos on the topic, Escalation feels like a credible and authentic representation of a college relationship in today’s alcohol-fueled hook-up culture.

Hood says that the reaction to Escalation has been overwhelmingly positive, and that the workshop has helped college students see certain behaviors they have witnessed and experienced as part of a larger picture of a violent or abusive relationship.

“If we can label the behaviors of abuse, and break it down into pieces that are accessible to young people, then we can take the emotional abuse zone–which is filled with excuses–and start making it black and white,” she says.

There is no charge to bring Escalation to college campuses, and over 100 universities are planning to host the workshop in 2015. Hood hopes that as more and more students see Escalation and talk about these issues, the social capital costs of intervening will diminish, and young people will no longer fear social repercussions for speaking up to let someone know their behavior is not ok.

“We want to start in the ecosystem of college communities,” Hood says. “We’ll have success if ultimately the good guys live with a community standard that no longer tolerates bad behavior.”

To that end, One Love also launched the See it. Share it. SHATTER THE SILENCE. PSA, which implores bystanders to take action and #be1forchange. The PSA directs viewers to the One Love My Plan App. Based on the findings of 20 years of research conducted at Johns Hopkins University, the app’s Danger Assessment tool allows a user to judge if a relationship is safe by answering a series of questions. The relationship is given a score on a scale of 0 to 20, with a score of 18 or over indicating extreme danger, like the kind that Yeardley was in. Users can also use the app to make an exit plan.

Both Hood and Sharon Love agree that the more they can get people talking about dating violence, the lower the incidences will be, and the fewer stories like Yeardley’s will appear in the newspaper.

“People don’t talk about it, they don’t discuss it, and they don’t feel like other people can relate to it,” Love says.

She and Hood have already seen the volume go up on the conversation around dating violence, partly because young people are gaining the language to label abusive behaviors and recognize abuse in their own lives.

Says Hood, “This is Yeardley’s story, but it’s everyone’s story. We want to honor Yeardley by helping others and by changing the statistics around dating violence.”

For more information about the One Love Foundation, visit joinonelove.org.

 

Need help?

To get help or information on domestic violence services, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or live chat.

For dating abuse help and resources, visit loveisrespect.org, call 1-866-331-9474, or text “loveis” to 22522.

For sexual assault counseling and services, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or live chat.

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Verizon and the NFL’s William Gay are teaming up to support victims of domestic violence. Verizon HopeLine is launching a 1 Million Phone Drive to Stop Domestic Violence with the goal of collecting one million donated phones by the end of 2015. The company created a moving new PSA with the Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback that tells the story of Gay losing his mother to domestic violence when he was seven years old.

HopeLine collects no-longer-used wireless phones, batteries, chargers and accessories in any condition, refurbishes and recycles them in an environmentally safe way, and donates the proceeds to domestic violence awareness and prevention initiatives. The program also donates refurbished phones, complete with service and data, to domestic violence shelters and organizations for use by victims and survivors.

Since its launch in 2001, HopeLine has collected more than 11 million phones, donating almost $30 million in grants to domestic violence organizations and over 190,000 phones to domestic violence victims and survivors. We sat down with Jessica Shih, Verizon’s Director of Corporate Social Responsibility & Community Relations, to learn more.

Verizon has demonstrated substantive and continuous commitment to helping survivors of domestic violence. Why is the issue of domestic violence so important to Verizon?

When we look at the statistics that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men are affected, it was pretty clear this was an issue that no one is immune to. We felt we could make a difference by leveraging our technology to provide victims with a way to reach out for help and stay connected with friends and family. When HopeLine started back in 2001, domestic violence wasn’t getting the attention and corporate support was needed to help the survivors and educate the next generation, so we created HopeLine’s phone donation program to turn old phones and accessories into support for organizations that work on the frontline every day.

What have been the biggest successes of Verizon HopeLine’s previous phone drives? Where have you seen the biggest impact?

The successes really belong to the survivors, and their stories of courage inspire us to continue our work to make Verizon’s HopeLine program even bigger. Some of our greatest contributions including championing research that shows the greater impact of domestic violence and women’s long term health or developing programs to train healthcare professionals and advocates on how to identify and treat victims of domestic violence when they come in for help.

What can you tell us about the upcoming Verizon phone drive?

We really want to provide more funds to support organizations that are working tirelessly to end this epidemic, and we need the public’s help. Verizon wants to get 1 million phones donated to the HopeLine program by the end of this year. We’re asking people to join us and help stop domestic violence by donating their used and unwanted phones and accessories to a local Verizon store.

Have an old phone you’re no longer using? Learn more about HopeLine and how you can donate at http://www.verizon.com/about/hopeline/get-involved

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We often hear about the physical scars left by domestic violence and sexual assault. But the mental and emotional scars can be just as damaging. We sat down with Dr. Cynthia Telles, director of the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute Spanish-speaking Psychosocial Clinic, to learn more about her commitment to these issues.

Do you have a personal connection to domestic violence? What was the impetus for your passion and commitment to this issue?

As far back as the late 1980s, I was involved in research into spousal violence in Mexican American communities. Through my work the Director of the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute Spanish-speaking Psychosocial Clinic, I have seen first-hand the psychological damage that domestic violence can cause. In my role, I help train the psychologists, and other mental health professionals, who work directly in the community, caring for those in need.

All too often, abuse by family members and friends, as well as sexual assault generally, are the immediate or underlying causes of the crises that mental health professionals are called upon to treat.

What do you view as the biggest obstacle to preventing and ultimately ending DV?

Stigma. Until we can talk about the problem openly, we continue to give it too much power over us, over those we care about, over our communities. We need to end the stigma, and create an environment where victims of domestic violence can talk about what happened, and through that openness begin to heal. It should not require victims to exercise great courage to speak out.

Stigma is also an issue in mental health care, for many of the same reasons. And in mental health, as in cases of domestic violence, the stigma can lead to shame, and fear of asking for help. It’s heartbreaking to think of the damage done twice in these cases – the first caused by the abuse, the second caused by the inability to seek help. We have to break this cycle.

How would you like other advocates, corporations and foundations to respond to this issue? How can others get involved in being part of the solution?

Create the space where more people can have a conversation about domestic violence. Educate your employees, stakeholders and communities about domestic violence. Be visible in your engagement and activism.  We all have a role in making it okay and safe to talk about, and then we can all more easily have a role in solving it.

About Cynthia

Dr. Cynthia Telles has served as a member of the Kaiser Permanente Foundation Hospitals and Health Plan Board of Directors for more than a decade, offering her wealth of experience and leadership to a prominent and forward-thinking organization. Since 1986, Cynthia has been an associate clinical professor within the School of Medicine at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA).

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Domestic violence and sexual assault are some of the most stigmatized and misunderstood issues plaguing our society. In order to bring about lasting change in how these issues are addressed, we must achieve a greater level of understanding of their impact on our communities. That means all of our communities. Today, 54 million Latin@s* reside in the United States, yet there is limited data on how this community is addressing domestic violence and sexual assault and what their unique challenges and strengths could be.

That’s why we teamed up with the Avon Foundation for Women and Casa de Esperanza: National Latin@ Network to take a comprehensive look at domestic violence and sexual assault among U.S. Latin@s.

“The NO MÁS Study: Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in the U.S. Latin@ Community,” commissioned by the Avon Foundation for Women, set out to fill a knowledge gap and uncover invaluable insights on this important segment of American society.

The NO MÁS Study, conducted by Lake Research, reached 800 adult Latin@s nationwide, including 100 recent immigrants and 100 Latin@s ages 18 to 30 years old. The full results of the study are available for download here.

The study uncovered a very troubling reality of domestic violence and sexual assault among U.S. Latin@s ages 18 years and older, but also brought to light some of the proactive strengths of this community. Ultimately, there is a sense that Latin@s want to get involved to address these issues in their communities and have conversations with their children about domestic violence and sexual assault.

  • More than half of the Latin@s (56%) in the U.S. know a victim of domestic violence and one in four Latin@s (28%) knows a victim of sexual assault.
  • 41% of Latin@s believe the primary reason Latin@ victims may not come forward is fear of deportation, 39% say the primary reason is fear of more violence for themselves and their family, and 39% attribute the primary reason for Latin@ victims not coming forward to fear of children being taken away.
  • Nearly two-thirds of all Latin@s (60%) are willing to get involved in efforts to address domestic violence and sexual assault.
  • More than half of Latin@ parents (54%) say they have talked about issues of domestic violence and sexual assault with their children and 57% of Latin@s report talking about domestic violence and sexual assault with their friends.

To help inform the NO MÁS study, Lake Research convened Latin@ focus groups in Atlanta and Los Angeles that provided a glimpse of the scope and impact of these issues, and the Latin@ community’s desire to take action to address them. Here are some of their words:

 

“There’s too much domestic violence. My neighbors fight and yell a lot… in my case we have learned to control all of that. We are not a perfect family, but we have made an effort so that our children do not follow the same pattern, violence generates more violence.” –Recent immigrant Latino, Los Angeles

 

“[We are] afraid to have Child Services in our home…we are kind of afraid to be on the radar. You know there is this kind of like we lay low, you lay low…” –U.S. born Latina, Los Angeles

 

“Because it starts within your house….with you and your kids and the conversation, and as much as you know, you could share that onto your kids.” – U.S. born Latina, Los Angeles

 

“Just as you talk to them [children] about drugs and sex, you can talk to them about violence…” – Recent immigrant Latino, Los Angeles

 

“My wife and I respect each other and this is something I try to instill in my children, I want to give them a good example of marriage.” – Recent immigrant Latino, Los Angeles

 

“[It] starts with us as men saying you know what we are not going to tolerate it in our community and I am not going to let you do it and we have to have an open discussion about it.” –U.S. born Latino, Atlanta

Informed by the NO MÁS Study, Casa de Esperanza: National Latin@ Network, the nation’s leading Latin@ organization on domestic violence prevention, and NO MORE, are launching a “NO MÁS” campaign, in partnership with Verizon, to further equip the Latin@ community to prioritize conversations about these issues and to take action to address them in their families and communities.

The NO MÁS public awareness campaign is the first campaign of its kind, engaging and activating the Latin@ community to end domestic violence and sexual assault, and includes a wide variety of other educational resources. 

Learn more at www.wesaynomas.org

*Casa de Esperanza uses “@” in place of the masculine “o” when referring to people or things that are gender neutral or both masculine and feminine.  This usage reflects our commitment to gender inclusion and recognizes the important contributions of both men and women.

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For as long as I can remember, I have been a keeper of stories.

Often, in a waiting room, a dentist’s chair, on a plane, or in a classroom, a stranger will open up to me and share personal stories, some of which are about deeply painful traumatic experiences.  It’s a role I treasure and have willingly taken on throughout my life beyond those planes and waiting rooms, first as a sexual assault crisis counselor and, since 2013, through starting Surviving in Numbers, an organization that helps domestic and sexual violence survivors safely share their stories. In turn, I’ve often related to myself as responsible to hold others’ traumas, but kept my own hidden.

After I was sexually assaulted during the fall of my senior year of high school, this shifted; I felt voiceless, scared, powerless, and I needed someone to hear and hold my story. I turned to only a few friends and my brother for support. Eventually, everyone I told about my perpetrator had their own bad experience with him: he’d assaulted a different friend of theirs, he’d harassed someone they knew, or they’d been bullied by him themselves. This horrifying repeat-offender context meant I was lucky enough to be automatically believed.

I call it lucky because this is not the experience for most survivors: while an estimated 60-80% of survivors never report their assaults to law enforcement, more painful to sit with is that many survivors never tell anyone in their lives, for fear of being disbelieved, shamed, treated differently, or retaliated against by their assailant or assailant’s friends.

Young survivors in particular often struggle with this silence, as well as with peers or others in their lives who don’t know how to respond to disclosures in a positive way, in part because culturally, we often avoid discussing the prevalence of sexual violence among teens. Despite our hesitance to address it, the fact remains: 44% of sexual violence victims are under the age of 18, and 1 in 3 teens has been physically, emotionally or sexually abused by a dating partner. Even if we already think we’re getting it right, we can always do a better job of supporting these teens — but how?

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1) You’re not alone

Many people (teens, adults) don’t realize how often this happens, and may then feel isolated in their experience. Over the past 2 years, I’ve taught over 1,000 high school students on basic facts about sexual violence, debunking common myths about violence, story-sharing, how to support peers who disclose, how to identify supportive people they could disclose to, and how to step in effectively if they witness violence (harassment to assault).

A common response I often hear after these workshops is, “Before you came in to speak, I didn’t know of anyone else who’d been sexually assaulted.” If young people feel alone in their experience, they often feel ashamed and worry no one else will understand. Don’t wait until you hear someone disclose an assault to start talking about sexual violence — talking about it openly and early helps teens understand that violence shouldn’t be ignored, and is never a survivor’s fault.

2) I believe you

While the needs of survivors are intricate and all survivors have different needs, the best thing you can do for any survivor who discloses their story is to let them know you believe them and will support them in any way they need. We often worry about needing to find the perfect thing to say to a survivor, but sometimes, the perfect thing is as simple as letting them know you believe them. If we want survivors to share their stories, they need to know they’ll be safe doing so. If they aren’t believed, it can be devastating: as one survivor shared, “The first person I told asked me, ‘Why did you allow it to happen?’ which hurt just as bad.”

3) It is absolutely not your fault

One of the toughest pieces of workshops I run involves debunking myths around sexual violence. These myths are so deeply ingrained in our culture that we may not even realize we believe them, and they are incredibly harmful to victims and to all of us. When we live in a culture where people believe and don’t challenge the idea that what someone is wearing can “provoke” someone to assault them, or that waiting to report an assault means that person is making it up, we all suffer.

In class, I provide a safe space to openly discuss these ideas so that we can work through them together; without addressing the myths, those teens who unknowingly or knowingly blame victims go on to become adults who also blame victims. “Raise your hand if you believe someone can be ‘asking’ to be assaulted,” I’ll pose to the class. More than once, a student has raised their hand, and it’s a terrible moment to see a piece of victim-blaming culture already instilled in someone so young. However, more than once, another student’s hand has gone up after: “No one is ever asking for it.” “Just because someone wears something, doesn’t mean they want to have sex.”

In order to change bad cultural norms, we must stop accepting them: whether you’re a young person or an adult, it’s crucial for people of any age to be challenged on these harmful ideas.

4) I will support whatever choice you make

We may feel very strongly about what a survivor, especially a teen survivor, should do after disclosing being assaulted. Commonly, these “should”s are around reporting: a survivor should go to the police, to the hospital, to their parents, or to a counselor.  That choice must be the survivor’s. Not every survivor ever wants to report or take any kind of action, and that is perfectly fine.

Survivors have very valid reasons for not wanting to report, especially to law enforcement, who are part of a legal system where punishment rates are low in a system that is not designed to support survivors. Some survivors may not want to have their assailants punished, may be afraid of their assailant retaliating against them and hurting them further, and some survivors may just want to move on and not be forced to re-tell and re-visit their story dozens of times in a precinct or courtroom. Whatever decision a survivor makes is truly okay, and we need to actively let survivors know we will support whatever choice they make.

Survivors deserve all the love and care we can provide them. We don’t have to be superheroes – by holding a survivor’s story, listening to what a survivor wants and showing a survivor we support them unconditionally, we can make an enormous difference.

AliAli Safran is the Founding Director of Surviving in Numbers, a non-profit serving survivors of sexual and domestic violence through story-sharing and prevention education.

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Sexual assault and domestic violence aren’t easy to talk about.

So how can we get folks talking about these issues to drive more awareness and break down the barriers of stigma, silence and shame that keep people from seeking help and taking action before problems arise?

A number of NO MORE supporters have come up with same solution: instead of talking about sexual assault and domestic violence, sing about it.

Music is a unique medium that allows both artists and listeners to connect with difficult topics, like sexual assault and domestic violence, in very personal ways, and many people have written to us to share particular songs that have helped and inspired them.

NO MORE is proud to partner with the heavy metal supergroup HELLYEAH, which released its single “Hush” during NO MORE Week. Frontman Chad Grey wrote “Hush” about his experience growing up in a home with domestic violence, and the chilling song reminds listeners that they “are not alone.”

During the 2015 South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, organizers of the Spontaneous Speakeasy combined the power of music and NO MORE’s message to raise funds for the National Domestic Violence Hotline and Safe Place. The daylong “Party With a Purpose” featured sets from seven artists, including JJ Essen, whose song “The Door” tells the story of his reaction and rage when hearing about a family member’s struggle with domestic violence.

Philip Nelson, an organizer of the event along with Curse Mackey, also performed his song “Up High” inspired by a friend’s words as she reached out for help in the wake of an abusive marriage. To Nelson, writing songs about these issues seems natural. “Music evokes emotion” he says. “Because Domestic Violence and sexual assault are such personal issues, it only makes sense that music would be an important way for these stories to be told and shared.”

Katy Perry’s moving rendition of “By the Grace of God” at the 2015 Grammy’s, following a recorded call to action by President Obama and a powerful poem by survivor and activist Brooke Axtell, demonstrated the emerging importance of music in raising awareness around domestic violence and sexual assault.

Hearing your story in a song is a powerful way to remind those who have been isolated physically and emotionally that there are people out there who can relate to and care about them.

This Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), we are excited to share some of the moving and downright catchy songs that people have shared with NO MORE. (Warning: Some of the lyrics in the songs and videos may be triggering to survivors.)

“Silenced” by Mersi Stone

Family music duo and NO MORE Ambassadors Kelsi and Kori Jean Olsen are on a mission to raise awareness about domestic violence and sexual assault.

“Til It Happens To You” by Lady Gaga

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“The Door” by JJ Essen

“Hush” by HELLYEAH

“No More” by Middle Class Rut

“Leaving You Behind” by Emii

“Tears in Your Eyes Remix” by ASHES the Chosen

“No More” by Denise Latray

“Who Will Cry (For the Little Girl)?” by Schawayna Raie

“Stop Violence Against Women–Now!” by Cardell Anthony

“Lies and Bruises” by Ryan Daniel

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“No More” by Deshai Williams

These are just a few of the many artists nationwide speaking out about these important issues and lending their voices to say #NOMORE to domestic violence and sexual assault. What are we missing on this list? We want to hear the songs that move you! Please share your favorites on Facebook and Twitter using the hashtag #NOMORE, and we will add them to our Music That Moves Us YouTube Playlist.

Need help?

To get help or information on domestic violence services, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or live chat.

For dating abuse help and resources, visit loveisrespect.org, call 1-866-331-9474, or text “loveis” to 22522.

For sexual assault counseling and services, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or live chat.

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An estimated 13% of the U.S. population is Deaf or hard of hearing, yet support systems for Deaf survivors are sorely lacking.

NO MORE is excited to present our latest blog piece written by Morgane and Ryan, student activists from Gallaudet University. NO MORE is proud to use our blog to give a voice to victims and survivors from all communities. Please share this story and help us activate your communities to end domestic violence and sexual assault.

Our names are Morgane Vincent and Ryan Klock, and we’re done being silent.

Silence is our world. We communicate visually rather than verbally through American Sign Language. For Deaf women and men, the risk of domestic violence and sexual assault is painfully high. Deaf and hard of hearing individuals are 150% more likely to be victims of assault, abuse and bullying in their lifetime. Domestic violence impacts one out of every two Deaf women, and one out of every six Deaf men.

We’re proud of our Deaf identity, but for some it is a reason to overlook us. While the Deaf community is assumed to be relatively small, individuals who are Deaf or hard of hearing make up 13% of the U.S. population, according to recent estimates. Yet, the support system for Deaf survivors is lacking. The few hotlines available for Deaf people are only operated between 9 am and 5 pm, Monday through Friday, but violence does not take a break after business hours or on weekends. Shelters and crisis centers lack adequate resources for Deaf individuals. Communication with a sexual assault and domestic violence resources is a strenuous process if one does not have a videophone, or access to on-call interpreters. In an emergency room setting, it generally takes up to 5 hours for a Deaf patient to receive an interpreter, and by then the damage and severity of the abuse could have increased. Often we stay with our abuser because the communication in the relationship is better than no communication at all. At least we know what to expect.quote4_edited-1

Our school, Gallaudet University, is the only Deaf University in the world. While we are proud of what the Gallaudet offers to our community, the university also harbors a dark secret. Rates of sexual assault and domestic violence are higher at Gallaudet than that any other university or college in DC, according to a Washington Post analysis. While we appreciate that the university has taken measures to address these issues, such as offering Greendot training, workshops and on-site training for faculty and students, we still have a long way to go.

Gallaudet is not unique among universities struggling to confront sexual assault and domestic violence, yet the Deaf experience is unique and presents a unique set of challenges. The increased risk of experiencing violence and abuse coupled with the lack of services tailored to meet the needs of Deaf survivors is something we as a society need to address–not just the deaf community . The reporting process through campus security too often results in “sweeping” the issue under the rug, and seeking help is even harder for Deaf students at non-Deaf universities, where there are fewer accommodations. This is why so many Deaf students either don’t report sexual assault altogether or are forced to go off campus to the emergency room rather than trust their universities to implement justice and put survivors first. This option is no picnic either. It is tough enough to have to tell a doctor (a stranger) about the abuse and/or assault, but imagine having to rely on an interpreter (also a stranger) to tell your story rather than being able to tell it yourself.

The thing is, it’s our story, our wounds that need to be healed, our words that need to be understood, and our voices that need to be heard. Rather than asking what universities can do for us, we need to take a stand and change how domestic violence and sexual assault are reported and the procedures used on campuses. It’s on us to fix and change a broken system, to improve reporting processes, to increase sensitivity training for campus security officers, and to inform and educate our peers. No more silencing Deaf voices. We need to open our eyes to abuse in the Deaf community.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger please call emergency services like 911. In the current 911 system, Deaf and hard of hearing callers must use a teletypewriter (TTY) text telephone device or a telecommunications device for the deaf (TDD) to contact 911 in an emergency.

Other resources for the Deaf or hard of hearing individuals:

  • To get help or more information on domestic violence services, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Advocates who are Deaf are available by video phone at 1-855-812-1001 (Monday to Friday 9AM-5PM), by instant messenger (“DeafHotline”)  and by email deafhelp@thehotline.org.  Hearing advocates are available 24/7 by phone at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) / 1-800-787-3224 (for TTY).
  • For sexual assault counseling and services, you can chat with the National Sexual Assault Hotline here.
  • For Gallaudet students, the Deaf Abused Women’s Service (DAWN) provides free on-campus support and advocacy services. Find more information here.

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With NO MORE Week in the rearview mirror (and what a wonderful week it was!), the team at NO MORE is already looking forward to April. Warmer weather is nice, but Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM) is the main event. Let’s get everyone excited about a concentrated month of activism around such a critical issue.

Military bases, community centers, churches, student groups, and other organizations across the country will host events like Take Back the Night, Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, and Denim Day to raise awareness about the devastating impact of sexual assault on almost every community in this country.

SAAM has been observed to varying degrees for decades, but it was not officially designated as a national awareness month until 2001. Now in its fourteenth year, SAAM activism has been instrumental in bringing this once-hidden issue to the forefront of public discussion. We are now all too familiar with the statistics: 1 in 5 women is a survivor of rape, and 1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lives (CDC). In recent months, stories of sexual assault on college campuses like UVA and Columbia University, in the military, and by celebrities and professional sports players have dominated headlines. So now that awareness about sexual assault has reached an all-time high, what’s next for SAAM?

“When the community first started organizing, the real square one need was to communicate to people that sexual assault happens, and it happens in their communities,” says Laura Palumbo, Prevention Campaign Specialist at the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. “Over time that focus has shifted from awareness to prevention. Now we’re telling people how they can be part of the solution.”

Laura is straightforward: now that we know about the problem, let’s come together to fix it. But activating an ever-expanding base of people to be part of the solution will require huge collective effort. Despite our awareness initiatives, sexual assault still isn’t easy to talk about. For survivors, the subject can be laden with feelings of shame, guilt, and fear, and for others, it can be hard to talk about an issue that is at once so personal and so pervasive.

This April, we need to come together to convince people to be part of the solution. So how do we do that? Check out the NSVRC SAAM website for downloadable tools, suggestions and information in activating your communities and networks.

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Need some ideas to get started? April 7th is the SAAM Day of Action and a great day to kick off talking about these issues on social media. If you’re a parent, teacher or mentor, get involved with changing the culture around rape by talking to youth in your life, both boys and girls, about sexual assault and healthy relationships; not simply coaching our daughters to avoid potentially dangerous situations. If you’re attending college, it means holding universities accountable for their obligations to ensure that all students can complete their educations without fearing for their health and safety. Culture change also means supporting members of the military who speak out about sexual assault and harassment. It means creating a culture wherein all survivors feel that their voices are validated, and not scrutinized or silenced.

SAAM presents all of us with a wonderful opportunity to engage new voices, to invite people—people who may never have been a part of this movement—to join us in stopping sexual assault, rape and abuse. After all, sexual assault is not just a women’s issue and it’s not simply a survivor’s issue. It’s everyone’s issue and the solution lies in all of us.

Join us this SAAM. Visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center blog for more ideas and find out from your state sexual assault programs about activities in your area.

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So many brave men and women have opened up to NO MORE to share personal stories in honor of NO MORE Week, going on now. All told, more than 5,000 of you have told the world why you say NO MORE, and we’re moved by your courage and strength.

Here are just a few powerful stories from survivors. To support a friend or to share your own experience, visit NO MORE.

One Voice Can Make a Difference

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Peace Through Sharing

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Survivors Helping Survivors

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 Men Speaking Out

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If you need help, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) or domesticshelters.org, the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE), 1in6, and Break the Cycle.

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It’s NO MORE Week 2015! Anyone can join our weeklong event to raise awareness and galvanize communities to confront sexual assault and domestic violence year-round. Here’s a list of events happening nationwide from March 8-14 that you can get involved in right away, from anywhere at all. Get ready to say NO MORE.

Tune In

USA Network #NOMOREexcuses Marathon

The USA Network and the Joyful Heart Foundation, founded by “Law & Order: SVU” star Mariska Hargitay, kick off NO MORE Week on March 8 with a #NOMOREexcuses Marathon of “Law & Order: SVU.” What excuses won’t you tolerate anymore? Join the discussion on Twitter with hashtag #NOMOREexcuses.

The Hunting Ground

Join NO MORE Ambassador AnnaLynne McCord and Break the Cycle for a special screening of The Hunting Ground during NO MORE Week in Los Angeles. The new documentary exposing the prevalence of sexual assaults on U.S. college campuses is already getting amazing buzz. Additional NO MORE Week screenings are in Boston, Washington D.C., San Francisco, and Berkeley, California. Buy your tickets here!

LoveStruck

“LoveStruck,” a docu-series exploring domestic violence from all sides, releases video teasers on YouTube throughout the week. The full series, created by survivor and filmmaker Hannelore Williams debuts in October 2015. Get regular updates on Facebook and Twitter.

Discovery I.D. #NOMOREWeek Programming

As a finale to week, on Saturday, March 14 starting at 9 am ET, Investigation Discovery is honoring NO MORE Week with dedicated programming that addresses domestic violence and sexual assault, including a Twitter Q&A with survivors and advocates beginning at 10 AM ET. Check your local listings at IDChannelFinder.com and join the discussion on Twitter with @DiscoveryID and @NOMOREorg by following the hashtags #InspireADifference and #NOMOREweek.

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Speak Out

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Looking for the quickest way to get involved? Show your commitment to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by adding the NO MORE symbol to social media profile images, personalize a “NO MORE ______” sign and share a photo on social media, wear the symbol, or just start a conversation with friends and family about healthy relationships.

Be a partof our dozens of events and activities across America. Check out all of our NO MORE Week events here and it’s not too late to use our Guide to plan your own!mariska nfl players no more logo

Last but not least, don’t forget to join the conversation on social media by following NO MORE on Twitter (@NOMOREorg) Facebook (NOMORE.org) and Instagram (@NOMOREorg) using the #NOMOREWeek hashtag and to say NO MORE all year long using our toolkit.

To host your own in March and beyond or add an event to the map, visit NO MORE WEEK 2015.

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