I remember distinctly the moment I finally got it. That I understood. The moment I realized that violence against women was more than just an issue my company, Mary Kay, had taken on as a priority cause twenty-five years ago. That it was my issue.  My problem. That it was a man’s issue. All of a sudden, for me it was finally personal.

I was fortunate not to have grown up in a home with domestic violence.  Had never been in a relationship where violence was prevalent. I was, and am, blessed to be in a loving marriage with three healthy, happy, (and often rambunctious and loud), little boys.

The story I read in the newspaper that particular morning suddenly made it all seem very real. The story was about a young man from a prominent and wealthy family who didn’t take “no” for an answer from his girlfriend one night in the back seat of his car. He was being charged with rape. My judgment was swift – how could he not know better? How could his parents not have taught him what “no” means? And then — oh God, I thought, what if my boys ever did something like that?

There is no such thing here as an innocent bystander.  Because the bystander isn’t innocent if we do nothing – say nothing – don’t insist on change and then act on it.

All of these horrific scenes flashed through my head of one of my now sweet little boys, grown up and hurting another person – hurting a woman. And suddenly, it was all clear to me. It hit home. This is our problem! This is our issue!  This is my issue! There is no violence against women — no domestic violence, no dating abuse — without the abuser.  And that, in great part, historically and statistically, is us! Men. How truly horrific that the only role we men are perceived to have played in this issue, is being the problem!

Men must have another role. We have a larger part to play in the fight to end domestic violence. What I’ve come to fully understand since I read that article, is that it’s just not enough for us men to be good guys. It’s not enough for us to not abuse our spouse, girlfriend or loved one. It’s just not enough to read articles every day about women who are hurt by men who say they love them and for us to be content closing the story with the fleeting thought, “What a shame – glad that’s not me.”

There is no such thing here as an innocent bystander.  Because the bystander isn’t innocent if we do nothing – say nothing – don’t insist on change and then act on it.

If we really want to end domestic violence – we have to stop it before it starts.  We have to change our culture.  Men have to own violence against women as a man’s issue – a man’s problem.  For men to be part of the solution we have to challenge the way we think, the way we behave and talk, the way we raise our children – both our sons and daughters.  We have a responsibility to reach the next generation of men – boys my sons’ age – and challenge the way we look at women and look at ourselves.

As NO MORE Week comes to an end, let’s pledge to continue the conversation – every day. Continue talking to our sons – and other men — about what it means to be a gentleman; talking to our children about what they should expect and not accept in a relationship; and talking to each other about what healthy relationships can and should look like.

For me, that last part is now more important than ever.  Because a new chapter is opening for our family.  My wife and I are expecting our fourth child – a baby girl – to be born any day now.  I pray all of my kids someday find themselves in a safe, healthy, loving relationship and in a culture where abuse and violence are NO MORE!

CraytonWebb_marykay_corporate_social_responsiblity_domesticviolenceCrayton Webb is Vice President of Corporate Communications and Corporate Social Responsibility at Mary Kay Inc. Crayton oversees the company’s global media and public relations team and is also responsible for Mary Kay’s global CSR and philanthropic efforts. Crayton is chairman of the men’s auxiliary for Genesis Women’s Shelter in Dallas, HeROs (He Respects Others), and was recently appointed to the board of the Texas Council on Family Violence in Austin, Texas.  Follow Crayton on Twitter @craytonwebb.

To learn more about Mary Kay’s commitment to ending domestic violence visit MaryKay.com/DontLookAway.

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The best part of running a small grant-making foundation is that I meet people every day who are doing extraordinary, brave things that they believe from their guts are the right things to do. And my job is to figure out if we can help them. As you can imagine, there are a lot of great days, and every so often, there is a day that changes everything. December 1, 2011 was one of those days for me.

It was the day I heard Dr. Elizabeth Miller, Chief of Adolescent Medicine at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh, present some preliminary research findings on Coaching Boys Into Men, a sexual assault prevention program developed by Futures Without Violence in which high school coaches had been trained to talk to their male athletes about healthy relationships and respect for women. The young men learned how to communicate, what it means to consent to intimate acts, what is unacceptable locker room talk, and how to intervene if peers are being disrespectful or abusive. These coaches used their influence to draw a clear line and say, “this is the kind of character I expect from my team.” And it worked. Three months after the end of the 12-week program, boys who participated were less likely to perpetrate abuse and more likely to speak up if they witnessed abuse.

I was stunned. This data pointed to a concrete, reasonable strategy. Prevention of violence against women became tangible for me. On the short drive back to the office that day, my curiosity became a commitment: If there was something we could do, then we had to do it.

Hundreds of men in this region have sought training to challenge the culture that minimizes violence against women as private or personal or inevitable.

For decades prevention almost exclusively meant talking about “risk reduction” or teaching young women to avoid being vulnerable: travel in groups, dress conservatively, watch your drink at a party, recognize warning signs and get out of abusive relationships as quickly as possible. These strategies all take for granted the fact that rape and abuse is inevitable, “boys will be boys,” thus allowing it to continue. The prevalence of sexual assault and domestic violence made us feel helpless and impotent. And we have passed this hopelessness on to our daughters too.

But the tide is turning. The tenor of public response to high profile abuse scandals has been distinctly different over the last couple years. Men are joining women in demanding that abusers be held accountable, and criticizing institutions that fail to act decisively. Growing numbers of high school and college coaches in Southwest PA have begun implementing Coaching Boys Into Men. Hundreds of men in this region have sought training to challenge the culture that minimizes violence against women as private or personal or inevitable.

In the absence of guidance from trusted adults, kids will rely on the sources of information available to them: pop culture, social media, pornography. Too many of our young people fail to recognize that sex without consent is rape. Only a few years ago, a quick drive away in Steubenville, Ohio, we all watched, riveted, as the tragedy unfolded. A young woman was victimized by multiple young A_CALL_TO_MEN_TONY_PORTER_CULTURE_CHANGEmen, and the rapes were documented in real time on social media. Scores of kids saw what was happening while it was happening. If just one of them had objected, had told an adult, had asked for help, things might have taken a different course. This failure to intervene could have happened anywhere, and probably has. The blame and responsibility for Steubenville does not just fall on the young bystanders. In fact, the tragedy highlighted a profound failure of adults to guide and instruct.

It can feel incredibly awkward to initiate conversations with a ‘tween or teen about sexuality and navigating intimate relationships, but we have a responsibility to do so. Most of us can imagine the kinds of adults we would like the children in our lives to become and the kinds of relationships we hope they will find. When I think of the men I hold up as role models, I think of men who have integrity, who are respectful, compassionate, thoughtful and involved partners and fathers. But our culture teaches boys that manhood is about toughness, invincibility, domination – to have no fear and show no emotion, and to treat women as sexual objects to “score.” There is a profound mismatch for boys, as there is for girls. We must articulate the gaps between pop culture and reality. It’s our responsibility to make sure our young people can imagine strong, healthy relationships for themselves, to recognize abuse when they see it, and to have the skills and the fortitude to speak up.

It is in our power to act to end domestic and sexual violence, and it starts by believing that we can. The question is: are we brave enough to act? I think we are.


Kristy Trautmann is the executive director of  FISA Foundation, one of the founders of  Southwest PA Says No More.

Additional resources focused on engaging men & boys:

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This blog post was originally written by our partner campaign, We Say NO MÁS, and posted on their blog. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, and these conversation tools below are useful in beginning what can be a challenging dialogue. We encourage you to continue the conversations all year.


As children are exposed to new ideas and experiences, it can be hard to know what to say. Nobody has all of the answers; what is most important is to keep your conversations going.

Talk openly.

Encourage open, honest, and thoughtful reflection. Allow children of all ages to express their ideas, expectations, questions, and concerns. Be careful not to dismiss their ideas as “wrong” or “childish.” Rather, encourage dialogue by asking them to tell you more or describe how they arrived at a certain conclusion. Children, especially teens, will look to you for information, advice, and answers only if they feel you are open to their questions and thoughts. It’s up to you to create the kind of environment in which your children can ask questions about any subject freely and without fear of consequences.


“What would make it easier for you to talk to your parents about dating or other sensitive subjects?

  • If my mom had more time.
  • If my dad would hear me out more.
  • If I was closer to my dad.
  • I like when they don’t judge.” 

-From conversations with Latina girls ages 13-17

Talk frequently.

Conversations about sexuality and relationships become easier and more natural with time. And you may make mistakes – accept and acknowledge that, and continue to be clear about your values and help your children make responsible, healthy choices. And some “review” can be helpful; for example: Children who learn best by taking in small bits of information at a time won’t learn all they need to know about a topic from a single conversation. So, for example, let some time pass, and then ask them what they remember about when last you talked. This will help you figure out – together – where to pick up the conversation and how to continue talking about the topics in ways that are most effective for the two of you.

Be the kind of person you want your child to become.

Use language and actions that are respectful, empathetic, positive, and appropriate in your own conversations and relationships with family, friends, and community members. For example, if you are using slang or derogatory terms to describe women and girls, your children are very likely to believe what you say and model your behavior and vocabulary.

Your children are always watching and learning from you because they respect you and look up to you. One child development expert said, “Kids hear about 1% of what we say and 100% of what we do.”

Remember that teens want mutually respectful conversations.

Avoid dictating and lecturing. Share your feelings, values and learn about those of your teen. Questions, debates, and even challenges are signs you are doing things well – it means your children are listening and value your experience, insight, and opinions. But remember that you cannot dictate another person’s feelings, values, or decisions – the best you can do is to love and support your children, including when they choose differently than you would or make mistakes.

Learn more about How to Deepen the Conversation About Healthy Relationships.


1. Rich, M.O. (2014). Communicating with your teen: Avoiding the “should do”. In Reaching teens: Strength-based communication strategies to build resilience and support healthy adolescent development. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics.

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Stanford Greek Life Says NO MORE


12196219_1091207034224869_6480584930751787563_nMadeleine Lippey, a student at Stanford University and member of Stanford’s chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma, has become deeply passionate about broadening the conversation around ending domestic and sexual violence. After interning at one of NO MORE’s partner organizations, the Joyful Heart Foundation, she learned she could use NO MORE as a platform to engage her community and decided to launch a campaign back on campus with members of her sorority.

Lippey’s efforts brought together Stanford’s sororities and fraternities to share why they are saying NO MORE through powerful photos. Her campaign co-organizer, Maneesh, notes: “I care a lot about reclaiming the idea of a fraternity as a safe space and removing the stigma from the typical ‘frat party’ – the majority of men aren’t okay with this either, and I for one want to make that known.”

 Lippey says, “Right now, there is so much activism on campuses surrounding sexual assault, […] Oftentimes, activists are speaking out to other activists – which is necessary, but not always as accessible to people who want to learn more but simply aren’t sure how. Fraternity communities are a great example — a campaign like NO MORE gives men who care about this deeply, but haven’t known how to get involved, the platform for speaking out, for making their voice heard, and their friends feel safe.12241680_1092581204087452_4181247120375039850_n

I firmly believe that stopping sexual assault is linked to sex education – precise definitions of the word ‘consent,’ a comprehensive breakdown of ‘blurry’ scenarios, a consistent wave of activism united across lots of different communities. This is 100% preventable – but who’s going to prevent it if not us, and together?”


Madeleine and Maneesh were surprised by the positive response their campaign received on campus, as well as its varied participants. She adds, “It wasn’t only what these people were saying NO MORE to that was powerful, but who was saying it. The quarterback of the Stanford football team. The student body Presidents. Friends. Acquaintances. Total strangers. I think that the NO MORE campaign is about taking the first step towards allyship – individually and as a community. It’s a personal experience, but inevitably shared – which to me is a metaphor for being a survivor on a college campus.”



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You may know Dave Navarro as the rock guitarist in Jane’s Addiction or the host of Spike’s Ink Master. You also may have seen him in the Viacom Says NO MORE public service announcement produced by the Joyful Heart Foundation and Viacom. But what you might not know is that when it comes to domestic violence, Navarro is much more than a tatted up rockstar using his celebrity to do good. His passion for ending domestic violence comes directly from his heart: he’s a survivor himself.

In March 1983, Navarro’s mother, Connie, and her friend, Sue Jory, were tragically murdered by Connie’s abusive ex-boyfriend in her home on a night Navarro was supposed to have been there.  Just 15 years old at the time, he lived in terror for nearly a decade before his mother’s murderer was finally arrested.

Navarro explores the devastating loss of his mother and its impact on his life in his new documentary, Mourning Son, which is available on iTunes and Amazon.

“Even though domestic violence comes with a lot of shame, the fact is victims are not alone. Help is available for them and their families and I hope the movie shows that.”

The deeply personal and chilling film tells his story of dealing with the the trauma, pain and loss of his mother, including a dark period of Navarro’s life in which he struggled with addiction and depression. It also follows Navarro on a quest for closure of sorts as he confronts his mother’s murderer in prison.

The tragedy he faced is not what makes Navarro’s story so powerful, however. It’s his courage and willingness to revisit his dark past and share his story, in all its imperfections, with the world that makes an impact. In allowing others inside such an intimate, painful experience, Navarro’s story is no longer just his own. He speaks for the children of domestic violence who are often the forgotten victims. They do not always show physical wounds, but as the movie so exquisitely demonstrates, they carry emotional scars that go far, far deeper and continue to suffer the effects of the violence they witnessed.

“Even though domestic violence comes with a lot of shame, the fact is victims are not alone. Help is available for them and their families and I hope the movie shows that,” Navarro says.

And that is where the film’s beauty lies – in Navarro’s strength, courage, and resilience to use such a horrific, tragic event as a vehicle for creating social change.

Dave Navarro, thank you for sharing your story with the world. You are doing a really, really good thing.


To get help or information on domestic violence services, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or live chat. For dating abuse help and resources, visit loveisrespect.org, call 1-866-331-9474, or text “loveis” to 22522.

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Many people assume domestic violence and sexual assault are women’s issues. But men and boys are not only directly affected by violence, but they play a crucial role in the movement to end domestic violence and sexual assault. We chatted with our longtime friend and partner, Tony Porter, on the role men play in creating the culture change necessary to address domestic violence and sexual assault.

Porter, the co-founder of A CALL TO MEN, is a leading voice on the intersection of masculinity and violence against women, and his 2010 TED Talk has been named by GQ Magazine as one of the “Top 10 TED Talks Every Man Should See.”


NO MORE: Tony, Tell us briefly what your organization does:

TONY: A CALL TO MEN’s primary focus is engaging men on domestic and sexual violence prevention as well as the promotion of healthy and respectful manhood. We work to create a society of men and boys who are loving and respectful. The large majority of men in our society are non-violent. We believe that it’s the responsibility of those men to challenge the minority of men who are violent while raising a generation of healthy and respectful boys who also promote non-violence.

NO MORE: How did you get involved in this “movement” of men making change? Why?

TONY: In my former life I worked in drug and alcohol treatment. Through that work I had an interest in the correlation with race and class with alcohol and drug addiction in the community. So while addressing race and class I found myself in the same rooms with women who were addressing male domination as the roots of domestic and sexual violence. These women began to encourage me to find my voice in challenging male domination. One of the reasons I became interested in doing this work is because here I had the opportunity to become a part of the solution to oppression because I was a member of the dominating group just as I would encourage white folks to challenge racism. I realized as a member of the dominating group I could be very effective in working with men in gaining men’s attention in ways that women were challenged.

I started volunteering with a program that worked with male perpetrators of domestic violence. After a few years I became a part of a national training team that toured the country teaching effective techniques and skills for working with male perpetrators of domestic violence. At that time, my foundation of the understanding of domestic violence included a political analysis that male dominance was rooted in patriarchy. Patriarchy is a latin word for “father’s rule”. I began to realize that if male violence against women was patriarchy, then it was about all men, not just perpetrators. That’s when I decided that I wanted to work with all men and not just perpetrators because the minority does not operate absent of the majority and I could influence the majority.

In 1997 Ted Bunch and I began A CALL TO MEN and we became an official non-profit in 2002.

NO MORE: Why aren’t these issues not just “women’s issues”?

TONY: Obviously it can’t be just a “women’s issue” if a majority of the perpetrators are men. To me, it’s a people issue, an issue of humanity. Violence against women is in epidemic proportions in the US; the Centers for Disease Control has identified it as a leading cause of injury to women. And as a major health risk, it is very close to cancer.

If country “A” did to country “B” what men do to women in the USA, we would be on the front lines determining how we would get involved. We would do something. We would have to, as a humanitarian issue, demanding a humanitarian response. Just the same we all have a responsibility to end violence against women in our relationships and homes, we have a responsibility to ourselves and to our future.

NO MORE: Your TedX video speaks right to men, about real stories that we can all relate to, why is this important?

TONY: In the work of A CALL TO MEN, we believe that although the academic approach is important, to engage men–to help the transformation of men– we have to reach in and grab a man’s heart. One way to accomplish that is by giving of ourselves, sharing stories and experiences in our quest for manhood. We are in this to transform men while holding on to the many wonderful aspects of manhood, and challenging the norms that have a direct link to men’s violence against women. Our goal is to help the next generation of a boys grasp early that to be a real man means to be loving, kind, gentle and not violent.

NO MORE: Who should watch the video (and why)?

TONY: We want all men to watch the video. We are invested in the majority of men who are loving men who would never hurt a woman. That is our primary audience. We have hope for the men who are abusive, but we want to talk to the majority of men. They are the ones that will help transform our families and children.

We know that women watch the video and that it helps them understand about men and how they can help men understand what is going on in their own lives and relationships. Women have been instrumental in our work to bring men to the table. They watch the video and take it to their husbands, sons, brothers, fathers, and families.

NO MORE: How have people responded to the video and A CALL TO MEN?

TONY: We have had over 3 million views on YouTube and get emails from people all over the world that have been touched by the video. The large majority of responses from, both men and women, are very positive and supportive. We’ve have had some backlash, in emails and blogs, from folks that disagree. Some of their responses are outlandish which serves to encourages us to keep doing the work we are doing.

NO MORE: After watching the video we know that many men (and women) will be inspired to get involved. What’s the one thing they can do to jump start action in their own families and communities?

TONY: Immediately challenge yourselves on the language we use, how we think about and how we talk about women and girls. At A CALL TO MEN we examine the collective socialisation of men that are taught to look at women as less valued, as property of men, and in particularly sexual objects of men. This creates a culture where men’s violence against women becomes a norm. I tell men, coaches, and mentors to stop saying to young boys things like “you play like a girl” because what that is saying is that girls are less than boys. I say tell them to say things like “try harder, you have the ability to do this”. When we change our language we change our values. Every man that tells a boy to “stop playing like a girl” should ask himself the following question: What am I saying about girls?

I ask men “see where you can change and if you have influence over men and boys then challenge them on how they act and behave and what they say about and to women”. If we did just that one thing alone the change would be astronomical.

NO MORE: Why is it important that parents start these conversations with their kids and teens? What resources are available to help parents talk to their kids?

TONY: We do a lot of work around fatherhood as well as what it means to be men and what manhood is in our relationship from fathers to sons. It’s very important to talk to sons and other boys around us.  If we don’t provide the right message they will simply go elsewhere and learn from others. We have to be the positive role model for our sons and other boys, but we have to teach ourselves first.

I was in the car with my daughter and son the other day and she was asking me something and my son told her to “grow a pair” because he thought she was not being assertive enough. In my previous life I might have been ok with that; I might have agreed with him. But think about it, we never tell a man to grow a vagina. I asked him “grow a pair of what?” and he didn’t want to answer. I told him what he was saying “grow a pair of balls”, male genitals and then asked him why does she need to “grow a pair”? I asked him “What if she told you to grow a vagina?” They laughed, we laughed, and then we talked about what that means and how that plays out to create a society that benefits men and demeans women. As parents when we become more educated about the things we say, and what our kids say, then we can start creating a society where boys are loving and respectful and women and girls are valued and safe.

NO MORE: Can you give our readers (and those who watched the video) a quick “takeaway” that you want them to remember?

TONY: If women could end violence against women they would have by now. While we can’t depend on the perpetrators to always change, I do have hope for them. But who is left from this equation is the majority of men– good, kind, loving men. Violence against women won’t end until good men become part of the solution. It’s time for good men, the majority of men, to develop a voice, stand up, speak up and speak out to create a world where boys and loving are respectful and women and girls are valued and safe.

Tony and A CALL TO MEN have a great website full of resources that are available to the public as well as school groups and families. You can also learn more about their programs around the countryas well as ways to educate, empower and engage your community on these issues. 

This blog originally appeared on NFL Player Engagement website.

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Danny Pino says “NO MÁS”

Actor Danny Pino starred as Detective Nick Amaro on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit for four seasons. We spoke with him about SVU diehards, talking to his children about sexual assault and domestic violence, and Decimos NO MÁS, a new national awareness campaign engaging Latin@s around these issues. The campaign, launch in partnership with Casa de Esperanza: National Latin@ Network and Verizon, is based on the findings of the NO MÁS Study, commissioned by the Avon Foundation for Women.

NO MORE: How did your role as Detective Nick Amaro on Law & Order: SVU shape the way that you think about domestic violence and sexual assault?

Danny Pino: Playing Nick Amaro was an education for me on set and off. Becoming aware of the silence, shame and lingering deep scars that often accompany these violent crimes and the frequency of these crimes within all communities was sobering.  The statistics are staggering for both men and women, leaving secrets and broken lives in their wake.  I’ve learned these acts rely on the silence and fear of victims and witnesses, alike. Fear is understandable, but silence is collusion. Breaking the cycle takes courage and there are support centers and resources for victims. I’ve had the good fortune of meeting people within this stalwart community of advocates for survivors and I can say without a doubt, they are ready to hear your story, they are ready to help you rebuild, and most importantly, there is hope.

NM: SVU has a huge and devoted fan following. Have fans shared their own stories of survival and abuse with you?

DP: Yes. SVU diehards are a big reason I valued being on L & O.  The show inspires loyalty for several reasons, one being its social resonance.  It has been personally rewarding to connect fans of the show who’ve unfortunately suffered as victims of sexual assault or domestic abuse to empowering organizations such as the Joyful Heart Foundation.

NM: One of the things we learned from the NO MÁS Study is that nearly two-thirds of all Latin@s (60%) are willing to get involved in efforts to address domestic violence and sexual assault. Why do you think the Latin@ community is so ready to take action?

DP: Any community that values and protects human rights should find the statistics concerning domestic violence and sexual assault appalling and should be ready to take action. Latinos are no different.  “No more” and “no mas” are universal.

NM: You have two elementary school-aged children. Have you had conversations with them yet about these issues?

DP: Lack of communication and silence is fertile soil for abuse. My wife and I started to discuss these issues with our boys since before preschool. We reinforce the importance of their control and ultimate say over their own bodies. We encourage them to keep no secrets from us. We also teach them the significance of respecting themselves by respecting women.  It’s as vital to guard against our sons being victims, as it is for them not to become abusers.

NM: A central theme of the DECIMOS NO MÁS campaign is that parents are the true heroes in their children’s lives. How do you ensure that your voice is the loudest one when it comes to discussing these issues with your kids?

DP: By being present, being aware and discussing these issues periodically. There is no way to be with our boys 24/7, but knowing they can always safely come to us with a question, a concern, an observation will hopefully drive out the silence these crimes rely on.


To learn more about the Decimos NO MÁS campaign and the NO MÁS Study, and get tools & resources to help deepen the conversation ,visit www.wesaynomas.org.

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Are you ready for the DECIMOS NO MÁS Campaign?

Casa de Esperanza and NO MORE are excited to announce the launch of DECIMOS NO MÁS, a new national campaign engaging Latin@s to play a critical role in ending domestic violence and sexual assault.

Statistics show that an alarming number of Latin@ women and children are impacted by domestic violence in the United States:

  • 1 in 3 Latina women have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimedecimos NO MAS NO MORE
  • 15 million children live in homes where they witness domestic violence

New research shows that Latin@s are taking steps to address domestic violence and sexual assault in their community:

  • More than half of the Latin@s (56%) in the U.S. know a victim of domestic violence, and one in four (28%) know a victim of sexual assault.
  • Latin@s believe fear is a major barrier to seeking help and fear of deportation is the top reason Latin@ victims may not come forward.

Despite the fear and how difficult it is to talk about these issues, Latin@s are taking action:

  • Nearly two-thirds of Latin@s (61%) who knew a victim of domestic violence, say they intervened and did something for the victim.
  • Latin@ parents are much more likely than parents in the U.S. population at large to talk to their children about domestic violence and sexual assault.
  • More than half (54%) of Latin@ parents have talked to their children about these issues and 83% of Latin@s are willing to talk with the children in their lives about domestic violence and sexual assault.
  • An overwhelming majority of Latin@s believe that starting young and educating children about healthy relationships is the key to prevention.

IMG_4159A Campaign with A Call to Action for Parents

Developed in partnership with NO MORE and Casa de Esperanza: National Latin@ Network, the DECIMOS NO MÁS Campaign targets parents specifically, and encourages them to have meaningful conversations with their children about these issues. The new campaign utilizes the theme “Their Hero is You” in creative concepts to mobilize parents to speak up. New resources are available.

The bilingual campaign website www.decimosnomas.org / www.wesaynomas.org features:



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Jake Comito, a junior from Rutgers University, is fighting two battles: on one front, he is changing the way people perceive and react to sexual assault on campus. On the other front, he is combatting the negative publicity shadowing Universities as incidences of violence on campus gain greater attention. Jake has been using his influence as a Resident Assistant, Teaching Assistant and Supervisor for Recreational Sports to disrupt violence on campus. He speaks about how he used the NO MORE campaign to spread awareness at Rutgers and how YOU can spark the conversation at your school too. Check out his work on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram by searching the hashtag #RUSaysNoMore! 

1) Using the NO MORE Toolkit:

17921_front_saynomore_courtesyofjakecomitofThe celebrity posters from the NO MORE Toolkit started my campaign at Rutgers.  I was inspired by Amy Poehler’s, “Well, she was drunk,” poster. I thought to myself, as the world’s greatest Parks and Recreation fan, that I could say NO MORE just as Amy Poehler had. I felt connected to the cause because of Amy, and then I researched NO MORE and their work to raise awareness about these crimes.  These posters, along with workplace fliers, postcards and the NO MORE symbol, create a necessary conversation about the cause.

What can you do? 
  1. Research NO MORE and articulate the campaign’s mission and vision 
  2. Print the posters and fliers
  3. Post the posters and fliers in dining halls, Resident Living Spaces, Libraries and Student Centers 

2) Creating an Event and Working with Local Businesses:

Posters are passive and while their influence is strong, it’s also limited. I created an event to actively promote the cause and to encourage student involvement. I wanted to “put students onto the poster” by replacing the celebrities with us—normal Rutgers students.

I teamed up with GlobalSoft Digital Solutions, a Digital Marketing and Printing Production company located in New Jersey. I re-created the NO MORE posters, without the celebrities, and then sent the PDF file to GlobalSoft to produce (picture the celebrity posters with a blank center). They printed the digital file onto foam core poster boards and then donated the boards to me. They were willing to stand behind the cause and to contribute to the campaign and the University. It was an easy sell – businesses are frequently looking to get involved with local campuses. Now that I have the foam core boards, I am able to take pictures of students standing in front of the boards, crop the pictures and splash colors onto the pictures to make it seem like the students are on the poster (see the attached picture).

What can you do?
  1. Pick a date, time and place for your event 
  2. Contact local business and explain to them your campaign and your vision for spreading awareness on campus
  3. Figure out their production capabilities and/or ask for donations – make a strong case! 

 3) Involving On-Campus Organizations:

Residence Life was, and still is, instrumental to my campaign. My hall staff has contributed to the campaign by spreading awareness, taking pictures and distributing the NO MORE lapel pins. I have also received support from fraternities and sororities, ethnic groups and special interest groups. These groups have taken the NO MORE pledge and they have demonstrated their support for the cause.

What can you do?
  1. Speak about the NO MORE campaign at your student group’s executive board meetings 
  2. Generate interest within the members of the group and begin conversations about the cause
  3. Meet with other on-campus organizations and work in tandem with them to spread awareness on campus 


 4) Utilizing Social Media:

I took over 120 pictures of students who had “put themselves onto the poster” within the first week of the campaign. We prompted everyone to post their pictures online with the hashtag #RUSaysNoMore to curate the posters on social media. It was a hit – within days, students and faculty members were using the hashtag to talk about sexual assault and to say NO MORE alongside each other.

What can you do?
  1. Post pictures of yourself on social media saying NO MORE
  2. Create a school-wide hashtag (for example #(YourSchool)SaysNoMore) 
  3. Join the conversation online and see what other people are saying and doing with NO MORE 


 5) Recognition from Administration:

Rutgers University pledged to end sexual assault this year. I wanted to prove that students and administration share visions for our school, not only academically, but also socially. I have been using lessons and themes imposed on us to display our united front. I have also sent emails to Campus Directors, scheduled meetings with Vice Chancellors and Senior Leadership Figures and extended my reach to the school paper. Their support and their recognition has helped me spread the cause.

What can you do?
  1. Schedule meetings with hall directors to seek advice for advertising, promoting and positioning
  2. Speak with members of your campus’ administration and ask for their involvement 
  3. Reach out to the school paper, radio shows, magazines and social media accounts


 Final Words of Advice:

Universities have been under scrutiny for their investigation tactics and inadequate responses to sexual violence on campus. As students, it is important to draw attention to the problems that we care about, but it is even more important to offer solutions to these problems and to become part of the change.. We need to unify our student bodies and urge everyone to stand up and say “NO MORE”. We can lead by example, prompting Universities to follow our progress.

Do you want to put yourself and your school onto the poster? Contact Jake Comito at jake.comito@rutgers.edu to learn more and download the free NO MORE Toolkit.

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month has inspired truly amazing activism in communities and on campuses all across the country.  As DVAM draws to a close, we’re taking a look back at some of the highlights.


Southwest Pennsylvania Says NO MORE released a new local PSA campaign with PA leaders.

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On October 27, 75 women incarcerated at the Chittenden Regional Correctional Facility in Burlington, Vermont, gathered to say “No More” to domestic violence as part of a survivor speak-out for DVAM.

Chittenden Prison NO MORE


Travis County, Texas, Sheriff’s office launched the “Athlete: The Positive Champion” campaign in honor of DVAM. Officers’ families took a stand and said #NOMORE to domestic violence. Their “Football is a Contact Sport. Love Shouldn’t Be.” campaign empowers high school athletes to educate others on domestic violence. 

Travis Sheriff and son NO MORE


High school student athletes in Minnesota had a Lip Sync Battle to raise awareness about healthy relationships.

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USA Network hosted a special Law & Order: SVU #NOMOREexcuses marathon in honor of DVAM. Special highlight: all new PSAs featuring NFL stars, like this one with Pittsburgh Steeler William Gay, who lost his mother to domestic violence.

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Postcard.com created a Postcard Says NO MORE  live activation in parks across NYC. People submitted their own images and stories, which were turned into postcards combined to form the NO MORE logo.

postcard in nyc


Jeb Bush participates in roundtable discussion on domestic violence in New Hampshire, a battleground primary state. The New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (NHCADSV) hopes to engage all of the presidential candidates on these issues. 

Jeb! NH


University of Georgia athletes launched their own NO MORE campaign. 

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Filmmaker Hannelore Williams released the three-part documentary web-series LoveStruck. LoveStruck explores domestic violence through extended interviews with survivors and perpetrators.

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A hair entrepreneur incorporated the NO MORE symbol in her ingenius new design to raise funds for domestic violence organizations, called ScrewUp



The New York Giants joined long-time partnerMy Sisters’ Place (MSP) and the Joyful Heart Foundation to say “NO MORE” in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), at their October 25th home game against the Dallas Cowboys. More than 80,000 fans attending the game joined Joyful Heart Foundation Founder and Presidentm, Mariska Hargitay, and Giants players in the NO MORE Giants Stadium activation.

Giants Stadium NO MORE


Have other highlights from DVAM? Email us at info@nomore.org (be sure to include photos/links) and we’ll add to our list.

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