Show your support for NO MORE domestic violence and sexual assault
I Say No More because I am a survivor of domestic violence. Twice. I was in a relationship with a man and had a daughter with him. He was perfect for a while. He started being violent towards me, but not the kids. I had a son from a previous relationship as well. The last night he hit me, my son who was 6, tried to help me, and he hit him too. 20 days jail time is all he got. 20 pathetic days for all the damage he caused on me, that to this day I am still having problems with and will always have them, and need surgeries I cannot afford. 20 days for hitting an innocent child. Our judicial system is corrupt when it comes to this. No wonder a woman is terrified to speak up. It isn't worth the risk you take to take that step into telling, when you know they are going to more than likely come after you when they get out. Protective order? Just a paper. My ex violated his, twice, and got 6 months. Pathetic. I had to lose everything I had, my home, my job, my car, and then my kids for 7 months because I didn't have a steady home at that time, and then the emotional damage, the awful court process, then trying to heal my kids and myself, because HE HIT ME AND MY SON. Him. He did this. And lost nothing. The victims are the one who, in the end, get punished. It is not fair. Then you have the victim shaming and critizing from uninformed, judgemental bystanders. "You should have left sooner" "You wouldn't have stayed so long if you really love your kids". Those are so cruel, harsh words. Then, the next guy I dated, was amazing. Couldn't ask for a better person. Was amazing with the kids and the kids loved him to death. For a while. Knew what I had been through, promised to never hurt me like that, you know all those things. He was patient. And it started. He would hold me down and pour beer in my eyes. He put cigarettes out on my face all the time. I have several broken bones. He shot a gun at me. No, he never hurt the kids, but they was destroyed seeing that. And man was a smooth talker. Everyone believed I was crazy, even I did. A true Narcissist and was amazing at gaslighting. I was isololated to him and his family. No friends, no phone, no car, no family. And when I did work, he sit in the parking lot a few buildings away watching me. He would sneak around and watch through the windows. Every where I went, he would follow me or have someone do it. He would pretend to leave, then hide under our trailer watching me to see if I would leave. I was accused of anything and everything. It was miserable. No one should have to live like that or in fear like that. I did for 2 years. I left him January 6, 2019 and it was the best decision I ever made. He still sneaks around here and there at night, but I have something a little bigger than he is if he messes with me. I refuse to live in fear anymore. We need to stand together and support these victims, show them we do care and we are there. There is not enough support for them out there. Sorry this was so long! Also, I think men and women too, who have been convicted of domestic violence or child abuse should have to register for the rest of their lives, just like sex offenders do. Bethany
